House Helper
Motherhood

When your House Helper Leaves Unexpectedly

When your House Helper leaves, do not feel that you done something wrong or you weren’t enough. It’s not about how you treated them that made them decide to leave, because for sure, just like me, you treated them like a family and cared for them as much as I do.

When your House Helper leaves, do not take it personally. They usually come and go. They have this mentality that they can leave you and when they want to be back to your arms, you will welcome them. If you do not welcome them, they know that they can easily get another job that will compensate them as much as we do or even more.

When your House Helper leaves, do not lose hope. As much as we need help and as much as we wanted to trust them that they would be there for us as much as we were there for them, you cannot expect that it would be the same way. We were brought up differently, so we can not expect them to value us the way as we value them

When your House Helper leaves, do not lose your kindness. We usually think that we gave too much and we were too lenient that’s why it happened to us, but I believe that doing good continuously will bring more to us than being too unkind. Let’s not bring the bad memories to our new phase in life. If it happened this time, we are not sure if it’s going to happen again in the future whether we show kindness or we show indifference, since we will not gain anything showing indifference towards anybody, let’s just plant kindness along the way.

When your House Helper leaves, here’s what you should do

  1. Be thankful

For the time that she has served us. Though it was short, it was still two more hands in the house right?

  1. Be grateful

That she chose us instead of others. Choosing us is already a privilege. Again, though the time with her was cut abruptly, thinking this would help us not garner ill feelings towards her.

  1. Learn from it

This is the greatest thing that we should do in the said situation. Assess yourself what you may have done to this kind of situation. Internalize and try to connect all the things that you may have done or done too much, in my case, I was too lenient even though I was already seeing the red flags.

 

After being grateful and learning from the situation, House Helpers leaving you also have some benefits:

It Improves Your Life

I think this is the best part every time when a House Helper leaves you unexpectedly. You learn more about yourself, what your disposition in life is and your path becomes clearer on how you want to live your life so next time a House Helper comes in, it’s not hard to adjust again.

 

It Helps You Establish Principles and Standards

This for me is the trickiest part, I grew up in a household where there was no House Helper around and it was my mom and I who did all the chores. Now that I am managing my own household it’s like a test for me how to do it on my own. I needed to step up and have my own principles in life. Having someone with you, you learn what is right and wrong in your house and slowly, you can acquire your ways according to your standards.

 

It Helps You Become More Organized

With every House Helper that leaves me, I learned how to organize my head and how make sure that the House Helper does what she needs to do. I learned tips and tricks how to make our life easier such as printing an everyday checklist, monthly schedule and I even learned how to use excel calendar for her payment so that I would not miss or

 

It Helps You to Be More Flexible

When a House Helper leaves when you least expect it, you have no excuse to do everything that she left behind so you learn to adapt and quickly look for ways to make things easier, better and faster.

 

 

Cheer up Mama, time will come and we will find our perfect Angels that will treat us like we treat them. Let’s take it as a challenge, our elders did it without help long time ago, what’s the difference now? As everyone says, it’s all about time management! We can do it!

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Motherhood

Hiring An All Around Helper with A Contract

Everyone knows how hard it is to hire a helper or as we Filipino’s call “kasambahay” or a yaya. Often times, in dire need of a helping hand, we overlook some of the early signs or some red flags that the one we were going to get already a trouble.

Around last week of August, I got a referral from the other
kasambahays” here in our condominium. That time, I was really tired of taking care of Inigo 24/7 for the past year that I did not really have a yaya or helper. I was not tired of loving him, do not get me wrong here, but I am tired of being constantly with him.

Sometimes I really do wish for an hour of peace from my son. So my wish came true, there comes this lady who really wanted to work for me and she kept on promising that she will come that day. The same scenario for the past 3-4 days until she finally decided to show up and had an excuse why she wasn’t able to come to first agreed date.

My partner and I was hesitant to hire her when she moved the meeting date for the second time, because first of all, if you really wanted a job, you wouldn’t come late right? But she came, and I entertained her still because I really wanted a helping hand. She was good but there were already red flags within a week however I kept on thinking that maybe, we are just different from each other and I respected the difference.

Until the day came where she lied to me and told me that she is going back the following day around noon. She came back night time without even informing me that she was on her way and she did not EVEN SAY SORRY. She acted like nothing happened and it was not a big deal. My fault because I was too lenient with her for the first weeks. I decided that instantly, it is better if we separate ways and she agreed on it too.

I still wanted to have a helper around the house and searched high and low for another one to come by. I realized that looking for a helper/nanny is really all about luck! Luckily, after 4 days, another one came in but this time I made sure that I am setting the boundaries straight so that we will have clear communication. Before I met her, I called her and told her already of the duties that she will perform, and she said she is okay with it. I asked for her ID and I made a contract. This contract is drafted with the help of the downloadable version of DOLE’s “Kasambahay” (Helper)  Contract.

I really do not know if this set up will work but I am very sure that this set up will be better than what I had last month! Please wish me luck that she is the Angel that I am been waiting for, so I can really flourish with blogging and other ventures I wanted to try! I will keep you updated.

You can download it here!

https://www.dole.gov.ph/files/Sample%20Contract.pdf

Here’s a sample of what I did

Hiring a Helper Hiring A Helper

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