Lately, after the traumatic thing that happened to my son and I
I often feel an emotion that left me for a long time and now it’s back, sadness. I do not welcome the feeling, but I try to “sulk” in it because it needs to be felt, as every emotion needs to be. If it was 4 years ago, when this sadness hits me, you’ll see me in the club partying and drinking the night away. Obviously, this time, I can’t do that, who would take care of Inigo right?
When motherhood came, a lot of things had changed and the best thing that happened to me through this stage is RECOGNIZING EMOTIONS and SIFTING THROUGH IT.
My partner Rene taught me a lot, mostly on how to stop running away from everything. He talks to me through my emotions, sometimes it’s irritating but the end does justify the means when we go through my many forms of explosive emotions. He also taught me that we should THINK THROUGH OUR EMOTIONS. Meaning, we feel the emotion fully, let it sulk in, then ask ourselves why we feel this way, through that, we get answers we’ve been looking for and raise our awareness.
So here I am,
while sifting through emotions, (because I already recognized and sulked in it for around 2 days on and off) I wanted to share it to you. I wanted people to know that it’s okay to be sad, and this emotion is the best one to CENTERS/BALANCES us. The reality we are living is too fast that sometimes we lose our balance and we forget what’s our priority. Feeling this emotion in a healthy and safe capacity, makes us more grounded, more of ourselves and resilient.
I have been questioning myself multiple times,
why? Why am I sad? What’s happening? The traumatic experience that I had for the last few weeks, I am not ready to share it yet, but I lost valuable things in life. I lost my confidence and I lost the chance for my son to be able to get into our dream school. I think the latter part really ignited the sadness in my heart. Sometimes, they say that sadness is a result of other feelings such as anger, stress, guilt, anxiety and hopelessness, and in my case, it must be true. I feel angry for myself, for being too complacent. I feel stressed because my little one’s overall state was compromised. I feel guilty for being irresponsible. I feel anxious because I don’t know what will tomorrow bring. I feel hopeless, for finding someone who I can trust again. Wow. Now that I have enumerated what happened in a logical manner, wherein I connected the dots inside my head, do I feel lighter!
I don’t know when I will be 100% okay,
but I know for a fact, that emotions are there and later they’re not there! So here I am, knowing that fact that our moods/emotions are temporary, I feel better! I feel optimistic that tomorrow will be a better day for me and for you!
Recognising the sadness and sifting through my emotions really helps me become a better person, because it’s the key to overall wellbeing. We need to learn how to recognize emotions and sift the best things that we can bring to our future and leave the bad things in the past and just learn from it. I was always described as a woman with pure soul. I always took that as the greatest compliment and I think the key to having a pure soul is to never carry the negativity and never hold any grudges to anyone. I believe in Karma and I believe that everything happens for a reason. So when things get a sour turn, just think that this is what we need and this will help us become the person we are destined to be!