I often wonder why during the last generation, stay at home mothers were the norms. Everyone thinks that when a girl marries, she needs to give up everything and surrender their lives to being a wife and a mother. It was the only way to live back then and also a way of status symbol. If your husband can support your family without you working, it automatically brings you to middle class portion of the society we live.
Then here comes this generation, a generation full of breaking the traditions and pushing boundaries that our elders built for the last years. We became more conscious of our gender’s position in this patriarchal society. We females, become more observant that we noticed what’s right from wrong, what’s just and unfair, what’s should be and should not be in this world. We kept on fighting for equality, for independence and for our rights.
So yeah, this is just the tip of the iceberg why it’s becoming harder to be just a stay at home. As a millennial myself, who was not ready for motherhood, here are the top reason why transitioning to a stay at home mother was slower:
We lose our Identity
We were raised to be the best version of ourselves. Our family put a hard emphasis on the importance of attaining diploma and the value of having your own career. They become proud of you when you achieve something in regards with education, for example, its starts with your first medal, your first competition and so the lists goes on. All our life we were identified as someone’s daughter. In our culture, our parents often boasts about what we do for a living, but I never heard someone’s parent boasting that their daughter chose to be the stay at home mom.
We live in a materialistic world
Back before, the only needs that we need to feel secure were clothing, food and a roof. Nowadays, it’s complicated, that needs, even though met, our society seems to tell us a different story. In these times, we were thought that we need emergency savings, mutual funds, variable insurance, cars and investment in order to say, that we are safe for the future. These pressures that we cannot help but think from time to time makes us harder to leave our source of income.
We have social media accounts
Let’s face it, when you see that your batch mates go to this beautiful place, bought a new house, ate in the best restaurants or just attended the latest DJ concert, you can’t help but compare. Especially when you are there half naked, breastfeeding your son/daughter while feeling ugly as shit. Our brains were somehow wired to be always comparing of other’s achievements, maybe because we were thought in traditional school, that winning is always good. It’s not that we envy what they have, it’s just that, we knew we could’ve done it too, but our child somehow becomes a responsibility that makes us slower in the race called life.
We don’t see the end of it
When we were working, we feel so accomplished at the end of the day. It is because our work entails this and that and then you’re good right? While this motherhood never came with a solution for every problem, someone might have a solution for it, but it doesn’t apply to your own kind of parenting. We often think that we were brought up by career driven woman or a working mom with no choice, and we we’re okay right? So why, now? When everything is accessible and convenient for us to leave the child that being a mother full time is more important? We rarely see the end of the road with parenting 24/7 , that’s why we are always doubtful if we have chosen our priorities wisely.
We live in a modern world that was accustomed to instant gratification. This made us believe that the internet speed limit should always be at top speed, the service of the waiters should be always at it’s best, and the world revolves around our highly set standards.
This world that we are accustomed is very far from motherhood. Motherhood rewards doesn’t show easily. It can only be seen by our heart, sometimes we are lucky to receive sweet kisses and hugs from our little one. They can’t speak yet but in time I know for sure, when I see them reach their best version of their selves with me beside them, I would say that being a stay at home mom is the best decision I ever made.
How about you? Do you find it hard to be a stay at home mom?