A lot of career woman that I know that suddenly chose the Stay at home mom life often succumb to the feeling of in adequateness because their usual kick of joy from achieving goal-oriented/work-related things disappear. At isa ako sa mga babeng nanay na ganun. Though a lot of times I am grateful of what I have now, I can’t help but to re-live the past when I was being recognized at work, having this financial freedom and being free in general.
As I embark this journey or motherhood, it was only around Inigo was 18 months that I had reached my full circle, meaning the denial of being JUST a stay at home mom is over! Tanggap ko na. I accepted my disposition in life. I realized that Inigo doesn’t need money or security at the moment. He doesn’t even have an idea of WHAT LIFE IS. Our baby only needs one thing, their mother.
So what’s the benefit of being a stay at home mom? Maybe the one reading is at her dark days just like I did, so go on and believe that in time you will come to your own full circle.
- We never miss a milestone – I took everything for granted until one of my single mom friend told me, “You are lucky you are there to capture these moments”. Their first smile, first laugh, first time to sit, first time to eat, first time to talk and the lists go on. They can never happen again.
- We are happier – meaning gone are the days that we need to achieve something, buy something, prove something in order for us to feel good and empowered. Keeping the baby unharmed for a day is already a milestone for first time moms! Hahaha. Keeping the house clean for 4 hours is already a big wow for mothers who’s living with a toddler. I love what this motherhood brought me. It made me feel that little things, matter too.
- We aren’t stuck in traffic – imagine how awful this might feel to some people who need to brave the road just to get to work! They need to at least give 1-2 hours for travelling time, meaning they are stuck in that traffic jam thinking of what could be while we are here appreciating that our toddler can now imitate the sounds of the animals.
- We are more flexible – when we were single, we controlled everything. Now that you are a stay at home mom, you are more prone to last minute changes. You’ll want to go to the mall by 2PM but the baby suddenly decides that it’s tantrums time! So you give him an extra 10 minutes of comfort thus making you more flexible than before.
- We are more patient – remember the time that you can’t stand waiting for someone? Well when you are a stay at home mom, your never-ending exposure with a baby boss makes patience your virtue. Hahaha.
- We are more creative – living alone with kids make you creative in different ways. Their laugh and their smile are so addictive that you will do anything out of the box just to hear their happy voices.
- We are more grateful – I have never felt more grateful since I became a stay at home mom. I am grateful for a 10-minute extra sleep, I am grateful for all the grocery trip because I don’t need to worry about money anymore. I am grateful that my partner works hard, and I am grateful that my son is here and smiling. Since we have more time to reflect, we become more grateful especially to God who made all these possible.
- We are more positive – since we are not exposed to the stress of living and working with humans that we really don’t like to, we are more balanced and we see life more positively.
- We are more in control – WE are in control of our baby’s routine, diet, exposure, sleeping pattern and most importantly, character development. I think character is the most important aspect of raising a child and it can’t be learned in anyway, in any school or from anyone. It is embedded by us, the parents.
- We become a better version of ourselves – Frequently, when Inigo is sound asleep at our room, I find myself reflecting on how my day was while doing chores. I assess myself. How I did towards Inigo today, how I managed my time for chores, how I was as a partner to Rene, and how I am generally. If I do think that I missed in parenting somehow with Inigo’s development, I usually find myself buried into Google on ways to best approach that matter. If I find myself that I took Rene for granted or if I exploded at him for a reason that should not be, I compose a message explaining myself and apologizing for my shortcomings. These small things, no matter how small, make me see myself getting better as a person.
- We become MADISKARTE – Since our budget is limited and our time is contrasted, we think of other ways to make extra money. I, for instance, suddenly became a baker.
These are all the things that I really realized now that Inigo is 2 years old . Believe me, I was in a dark place too where I often question myself, “hanggang dito na lang ba ako?” But when you fully accept your circle of life and think of motherhood as your “disposition,” not an end, your perspective will become wider and better.
Maybe these are also part of our journey to be the better version of ourselves. Motherhood just increases the velocity of maturity. Never think of motherhood as a hindrance, make it as leverage towards self-worth.