Single Parent
Realizations

Single Parent Struggles: Starting to doubt yourself

Are you a single parent in any sense? Be it you are separated, widowed or raising your kids alone because your partner is an OFW?

I am a single parent

because my husband works in Australia and we see him only once every  2 years. I really did not see anything hard at first when I started living in Manila with my little boy alone. I had no help and only relies on stay out helpers to make the house look tidy and neat.

Until one day,

a series of unfortunate events happened to me. My helper took our money that I really wanted to seek justice, while seeking justice in the right way, my son took a fall and chipped his tooth.

It was really traumatizing for me and for the first time in my 31 months of being a mother, it dawned to me, that I am a single parent and it’s really hard.

 

I did not see myself as an inadequate to my son’s needs but that time, while we were rushing to the hospital while Inigo is crying and bleeding, I felt so helpless. It was around 12 midnight and I did not know who to call or how to call because I had a dead battery.

I cried my eyes out while seeing Inigo covered in blood and in pain because he accidentally fell on the stairs in the police station. I kept on praying that God will take away the pain from him, crying while writing down on the hospital information sheet. Everyone was looking, I tried to keep on my composure, but I really can’t. It was already a tiring day, lost Php 30,000 and Inigo’s hurt. I held on to my baby while trying to calm him and myself and for the first time.

 

I wished my partner was here so badly. Iba pa din eh.

 

In times like this, when you do not know what to do or you feel so hopeless, a physical body beside you would be enough to calm your nerves, even without saying a word. That was my only taught the whole time we were in the hospital, to be able to be with him forever, for the sake of our family. I guess that’s the reason why God made us like this, that in order to have a baby, a woman and a man needs to have it. He knows that both are needed to raise a child.

I never questioned his plans for us, but that time that I was so scared for Inigo’s health, I questioned OUR DECISION as parents.

We are not rich, but we are lucky that we have family that helps us in time of need. We can choose to stay here together, both work and choose to leave Inigo in the trust of yaya but we choose to the other way around.

We believe that a baby needs more attention, care and love from the parents more than anything else during his formative years. Imagining the situation of travelling 2-3 hours a day plus 10 hours of work is already 13 hours lost with our son, we both don’t want to have the missed opportunity with our child.

So we have arrived to the decision that Rene will leave to Australia because there, he can earn how much we will both earn here while securing the future and making sure that Inigo is with me 24/7.

 

Ever since he left, I had no doubts with our decision until the recent accident because for the first time, it was my lowest point as a parent and I surrender.

But you know what? No road is smooth sailing and questioning your disposition in life is normal when you are doing the best for your family.

 

So, to all the single parents out there, when facing a difficulty or in doubt of their decisions in life.

HOLD ON and DO NOT FALTER.

All of this is just a bump on the journey towards the life we want to give to our precious ones. It’s okay to cry but make sure that you’ll stand up again because your baby needs you, two times more. It’s hard to be a mother and a father at the same time, but this will make us stronger, wiser and more adaptable.

 

Keep facing the world with your beautiful soul and proudly wear your scars because it makes us more human!

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