They say that all kids are different right? Some say that their personality is inherited from their parents. Some say that their behavior usually is what they see inside their home.
But not a lot of parents out there understands that there are some toddlers that are aggressive. Inigo is one of them. He is an only child and we believe that babies can’t understand everything. So with that understanding, my partner and I think that the best approach with him is to give him everything that can comfort him except things that can really damage his well-being.
Some say that Inigo became so spoiled. Sometimes I doubt myself too, but, Rene always reassures me that in time, when Inigo can understand fully, we can explain everything, right now, what Inigo needs in just full understanding.
It became my mantra, that every phase of Inigo, I will not be there to judge him but to understand where he is coming from and be patient. It started with throwing things, I thought it was a stage wherein he likes to see the cause and effects of things. At first I got infuriated because I needed to get everything from the floor and sanitize it again. I got used to it and slowly, he stopped throwing things intentionally. Then the aggression started when he turned 18 months. He started hitting kids when kids touches his toys, goes near me or goes too near his personal space. That’s why we decided to enroll him in Gymboree for good to develop his social skills.
When we entered the play area of Gymboree, I knew that he liked our decision for him! He really enjoyed and kept on running, jumping, climbing, shooting and crawling! Everything was really peaceful until some of his classmates joined in. At first, he stared and tried to play with them. Some of the kids responded well while some other kids who are the same age as Inigo constantly had mini-fights whenever they see each other. It was a tough thing for me, to see my son not behaving as well as his other classmates. I did all my research and tried all the techniques on correcting his aggression. What works best for him is that when it happens, I approach him and tell him that it’s not nice thing to do. I tell him that his classmate got hurt because of what he did and he should say sorry and never do it again. Sometimes he does say sorry, sometimes not. But what keeps me motivate is, every time I tell him he did something wrong, you can feel that he slowly is learning from all of it. He will stay still, quiet and chooses not to look you in your eyes. GUILTY LITTLE BOY! Hahaha. He got better now that he is 23 months but fights still happen sometimes.
For all the mommies out there that are experiencing the same thing, please believe that IT IS JUST A PHASE. There are a lot of articles out there saying that aggression is normal for ages 18 months to 36 months. I know you feel judged too, like everyone is looking at you with your kid with a side eye. Perhaps they are thinking that we hit our kids at home? Perhaps they are thinking that we spoil our kids? Maybe they are thinking that we are not doing our best in parenting.
Stop thinking of what other people will think of your child’s development. As long as we are aware that it is just a phase and we are progressively trying to correct it, we are doing our best. Some child really is blessed with a lovely personality. Don’t compare and just trust that your kid will outgrow this phase.